“I ate raw chicken” was written on the triage sheet. No other complaints. No abdominal pain, no nausea, vomiting, or diarrhoea. No fever. No nuthin’. Just “I ate raw Chicken”. I was going to just walk in and say, “I don’t recommend eating raw chicken, good bye.” Unfortunately it was not that simple. First, I was showed the offending uncooked fowl produced out of a fast food chain’s wrapper. Second I had to listen to a long story about how she was driving through the area when her 11 year old son nearly threw a tantrum unless they stopped to eat fast food. I then had to hear about what each family member ordered. The patient then told me she was eating a grilled chicken (since she was trying to be “healthy” I guess) when she noticed it was a little “gooey”. Umm. Not good. She immediately thought she was poisoned with Ecoli 0157:H7 and rushed full speed into the ER. No complaints except for a panic attack. I reassured her that there was nothing she could do now except wait for symptoms (that would probably take at least a day to develop, not an hour). I also said it was probably wise to report the incident to the restaurant – they might give her a free coupon for some more yummy food! I wish I had a Geiger counter in the ER – I could have had a ball with it she was so impressionable!