We ER doctors are preferred a lot. We often make up ridiculously bad scenarios just to get a laugh out of each other.
For example we have our own version of “which would you rather?” where instead of choosing between two nearly equally bad potential sexual partners, we choose between two nearly equally bad medical diagnoses or conditions. Myself and a colleague were playing this recently when it took a little spin. We basically tried to come up with what is the worst possible sign out – either a patient or patients that you could ever possibly give another doctor. Traditionally everybody always wants to avoid getting a sign out on someone who needs a lumbar puncture, or pelvic exam or a disimpaction.
My colleague basically came up with the worst thing I could ever imagine. “Five special needs pts were found to be intoxicated on the bus driven by a Penn State coach so they all need a rape kit”.
Yes we are a macabre bunch. If you were the doc who actually had to accept such a signout, you’d never see the light of day for a week.
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In one place where I work, there are red-flag phrases in report on patients transferring in. My fave is, “Oh, and has been just a little agitated…”
During residency I got a sign out that all I had to do was tell the lady she wasn’t pregnant. As I tried to walk out of the room, she says with a thick WV accent “Do you know what lice look like? Cause I got these things that look like boogers in my hair, cept they won’t come out.” Uh, yeah. I’ll send someone in about that.