File this in the “wierd trauma” category. I just saw a patient brought in by EMS with he head nearly completely wrapped with gauze – since it was about 11pm on a Saturday, the natural assumption was that this was an ETOH – related incident. Presumably a fight. Nope something weirder. Apparently this nearly balding 40ish year old man became frustrated with the behaviour of his few remaining hairs. He engaged in a furious battle with them in an attempt to get them to lie down in the way he preferred. His weapon of choice, none other than the standard, run-of-the-mill plastic comb. Who would have thought what was about to transpire.
Well, I suppose the stubborn hair won. Or, at least his scalp lost I should say. Somehow this guy lacerated his scalp with the comb. Not just a small cut but he literally opened up a giant flap that was between 4 and 5 inches long! It was gushing blood when the EMT’s arrived, who stanuched the flow with about 10 Kerlix’s. It required a deep layer of sutures and about 15 more in the skin to properly close it. Amazingly, no ETOH (alcohol) was involved. Perhaps he had sharpened the comb? Perhaps he was accidentally using a filet knife instead of the comb? My PA’s thought was that the whole story was bogus – he really was scalped with a tomohawk. Who knows, sometimes if you ask too many questions, you get answers you really don’t want to hear.
We had a 40ish woman come in, she went to the bathroom, stood up too fast, and fell into the tub gashing her forehead open in the same way. She said she saw a little blood and looked in the mirror.
Then she did 8 shots of vodka “because I knew it would start to hurt”. You could literally see her skull when we cleaned it before putting like 30 some stitches in it.
With the vodka on board, she was then horny and proceeded to grope her ex husband who had brought her in, and was trying to get him to kiss her, and he was gagging and trying not to puke at the sight of her face falling down.
Then when we got him out of there to work on her, she was flirting with the male nurses and techs, telling them that the ex was just a friend, and that she was single and eligible. What a freak show that was.
The two of us that stitched her had to take turns because she kept breathing on us and we were getting wasted from the fumes and kept having to step back from her. She then passed out and we were able to finish putting her back together.
Found your blog yesterday while surfing and have added it to my Bloglines account. Thanks for reminding me why I could never do ER!
Dude.
Wow.