Lets see. I had a nice mix of patients that came in during my latest night shift over about a 2 hour period from 2 am to 4am.
A 21 year old woman with “hot flashes” (see last post).
A 35 year old man with a keloid on his shoulder that he had for three years.
A 10 year old boy with ear “itching” for three weeks.
A 16 year old boy who twisted his ankle two weeks prior and was not really having any trouble walking on it.
A 19 year old withdrawing from Oxycontin.
A 41 year old looking to get more Dilaudid and Ativan for her chronic abdominal pain.
NONE OF THEM WERE. They all wasted my time.
I was ready to throw myself under a bus until a nice man came with a STEMI!
I have a migraine. Dr. Grumpy said you would fix me.
we dont even look at such patients here…just literally throw them out!..:D
New label-douchenozzle. It rolls right off the tongue.
Most post 2 am visits to my ER seem to be insomnia coupled with acute boredom. The Cheif Complaint is usually just an excuse for a social visit.
I just give them $500 hug and send them on their way.
Doctor D: “Hey why don’t you see your much less expensive PCP for this totally non-emergent problem next time?”
Patient: “Thanks for your concern Doctor D but I’m not paying for any of this. It’s coming out of your taxes.”
Yeah, it’s enough to make you loose your faith in humanity.
@Doctor D
“I just give them $500 hug and send them on their way.”
Too funny!
Oh, wait a minute – that wasn’t a joke, was it?
Too sad!!!
My ear itches & my ovaries are out of whack. I think they’re out of whack because of a keloid I have OR because the pain in my ankle is so bad. On the other hand, this abominal pain I’m having, could be related to my non functioning ovaries. Anyway, I’m sure it’s all related to my fibromyalgia and can I have a prescription for Tylenol (as I flip my hair extensions, talk on my cell phone and admire my new manicure), because that way, my Medicaid card will pay for it. Just one more thing…..I haven’t eaten all day. Can I get something to eat and a cab voucher?
Is it me, or has a lot more whining popped up on this blog lately?
And the sad part is they all declare that they will be “seen faster” if they call 922 and arrive on a stretcher. Oh how I love to watch the jaws drop when I walk those types of patients into the waiting room, sign them in, and tell them someone will be with them when their turn comes!
Dangit it won’t let me edit. Who calls “922″? *scratching head* I guess I should go to the ER, i mis-typed “911″. Or maybe I’m dying and my ganglia aren’t doing whatever it is ganglia do when they get together. ooooh, I know. I should have a neuro consult! (On second thought, that would probably result in a psych consult……)