The patient sat in triage, appearing uncomfortable but one thing was glaringly obvious. Not his appearance but the sound emanating from him. Quite strangely, there was a vibrating/buzzing coming from him that was amplified by the plastic chair he was sitting on in triage.
Hmmmmmm.
OK, sir, the Nurse said, “When did you stick the vibrator in your ass?”
Just kidding, she politely asked what brought him in and his reply was, as expected, that he had lost a vibrator in his rectum while masturbating. Oops.
The best part was when we were trying to see if we could fish it out – you could feel the end of it at the tip of your finger, just buzzing away. Unfortunately, it was too far up and he had to go to the OR for removal.
Next time buddy, get one of them that has a wide base!
At least he didn’t try to lie and concoct one of those ridiculous ‘fell on it’ stories…
It’s my cell phone. I keep it on vibrate, and accidentally sat on it, and now people keep calling me.
did the surgeon give it back?
Sigh. I wish I could send a worldwide memo saying “they make vibrators specifically for that use that DON’T GET SUCKED IN LIKE THAT.”
In the words of the wise, immortal Paris Hilton…”That’s HOT!”
Too funny! I had a similar episode where the triage nurse called me out to see a woman sitting in the chair buzzing. Her fiance had used a “butt plug” (I had to google pics of one) that got “lost”. Very uppity people, which made it all the more pleasurable to send her to the OR…Happy Holidays.
ERP!! OMG!! now these are the type of patients that would make me demand for a Huge Huge Raise!!! either that or would make me change careers really quick!! LOL I think then I would open up a sex shoppe and sell only those vibrators that have a chain attatched at the bottom so you could just easily pull it out when done!! LOL Have a Wonderfull Holiday to you ERP & and to all of you ERP Fans too!!