ERP: Ma’am, what brings you in today?
Ms Chandelier : I got some pain down there.
Mr Aloof (bf of patient sitting there stuffing french fries down his gaping maw) : Yeah, and she stink.
ERP: Have you two been using condoms?
Ms Chandelier : Mostly
ERP: Discharge?
Mr Aloof : Munch, munch, munch. Yeah, Doc.
ERP: OK, let me get the nurse in here and I will examine you
5 minutes later I am checking her cervix….
Ms Chandelier: OWWWWWW!!!!!!!!
Mr Aloof: Munch, munch, munch. That hurt Babe?
ERP: Sorry Ma’am, Do you still want him in the room?
Ms Chandelier: Yeah! Baby, come hold my hand!
Mr Aloof: Munch, munch, munch. Don’t squeeze it too hard Babe.
Aw, how sweet.
You can just feel the love.
so you got to meet Snooki and “The Situation”…..cool.
I hope I find a man like that.
So, did Mr. Multitasking BF leave a french fry or two up there?
Totally tangential…Do you always need to bring in a nurse while you do gynecological exams? Does a nurse need to be present while you do some sort of rectal exam on a man?
What a man
What a man
What a might good man
.
.
.
Not.
UGHHHHH! How frustrating. At least she waited until you left to eat the fries. Did it stink down there? LOL Have a good day.
Patient comes in for a “coochie check”, accompanied by her male friend.
“Do you want your friend to step out while I examine
you?”
“Oh no, that’s my fiance”
several minutes later…
“So, do you see anything, doc?”
“Just pieces of a red condom”.
Dead silence.
The “fiance” stomps out, slamming the door.
Then the patient tries to bribe me. “just tell him that weren’t no red condom you saw”.
Well what was it then, a Skittles bag???
What a delightful gentleman!
Does he have a sister?
Oh, Ms Chandelier IS his sister. Never mind.
“Mr Aloof: Munch, munch, munch. Don’t squeeze it too hard Babe.” Did she have a hold of his hand or his nut-sack? Ideally the latter, in which case I’d say, “squeeze as hard as you possibly can, Ms C.”
By the way, what’s the story behind the monicker “Ms Chandelier?” Don’t tell me you found pieces of one inside her.
The “Chandelier” reference is to the “Chandelier sign” of PID (pelvic inflammatory disease usually caused by STD’s). When you touch the woman’s cervix (which is all inflammed and infected),she hits the chandelier….