Occasionally I meet a flirtatious patient. I mean, come on, I am so Uber-Hott that it comes with the turf of being me! (Cue the cymbal crash). Anyway, sometimes a chief complaint or at least the description of symptoms don’t lend themselves well to making one’s self sexually alluring. GI complaints are probably right up there.
I guess there are some bizarre fetishists out there but I ain’t one of them. Ma’am, despite your youthful 23 years and the fact that you obviously work out regularly, batting ones eyelashes , extending ones breasts out (even if they are attractive and perky if I do say so), and flipping ones’ hair sensuously from side to side would not under any circumstances make up for your overly-detailed description of the profuseness of your bilious vomiting and the crampy abdominal pain followed by “disgusting, horribly stinky, yellowish” diarrhoea. Sorry, maybe you mistook me for someone into German Scheisse-films. Now, lets forget this and move on to giving you fluids and Zofran.
Hot Shit!
Good God! Vomiting is the worst! I’d sooner relive the unmedicated births of my two children then endure an episode of gastrointestinal illness. I cannot fathom how she could feel like flirting. Ugh!
I would want to be camped out in my own bathroom with that and NOT in the ER. Come on people, BRAT diet and Benedryl or Nausene for the Nausea. AHHHHHH Not an emergency.
I was rotating through an NYC ED and had a 23 yo f with constipation/blood streaked stool come in. She decided to do the whole flirting thing with me, her dashingly handsome 25 year old “doctor”. Favorite quote from the encounter was “most guys have to buy me dinner and drinks before they get to put anything there.”
Benadryl helps with nausea? New to me. Cool. I’d probably gag on that less than Emetrol (which works quite well, I must admit, but it’s so gross. I always feel like the Kool-Aid Man just came in my mouth after. Uh, overshare?)
Molly,
Antihistamines work well for nausea, Phenergan is, I believe, an antihistamine. Benadryl and Phenergan can be sedating though, so use them with caution.
OH GOSH ERP!! Hey ! look on the bright side! she could have had all the same symptoms and been a 350 lb beheemoth that smelled like last Years garbage and you had to pair thru her fat rolls just to do an exam!!!!! ROFL,, Stacy
[...] 6. ER Stories – As the writer puts it in his own words, the blog is “dedicated to those who revel in the weird, crazy, sad, and fast paced world of the Emergency Room”. For sure, working in the ER has to be an adrenalin releasing addiction because doctors actually seem to revel in it and they just can’t wait to share their experiences out there. There are few jobs out there that can make a philosopher out of men; doing time in the Emergency Room seems to be one of them. This one is a nice short post. [...]
Hell, I’m German (32yo) and familiar with a lot but hadn’t heard about the Scatology movies. Blergh.
Love your blog, btw.!