A man came into our ER last week who we x-rayed shortly after his arrival. I will let you guess the chief complaint based upon what you see below:
Make your choice from the following explanations below:
1. “I was attending Pharmacy school and was making a preparation when I accidentally sat on someone else’s pestle”
2. ” I was walking down the street, just minding my own business when some dude……”
3. “I was attacked and raped by a roving gang of Pharmacy students”
4. ” I was trying to disimpact myself from severe constipation”
5. ” I inserted a ceramic object into my rectum and need help getting it out”
Answer: #5 – Hey at least he was honest! – He got admitted to the surgical service where he was taken to the OR and it (a pestle) was removed under general anaesthesia
Fun stuff!
It’s impossible to make this stuff up! Working in the ER has made me start to wonder what the limits are to which people will go.
Of course it’s not Number Three. You can’t find a compounding pharmacist anymore.
I say better the pestle than the mortar up there! Yeoowza!
I’m a pharmacist. There are indeed compounding pharmacies but they are uncommon except in big cities. One notable exception is in Ord, Nebraska but that’s another story. 90% of their business is veterinary.
Does anyone remember the “Jackass” episode where the guy cracked his tailbone, and the x-ray showed his boy parts plain as day, and he asked the nurse what those gray blobs were, and she said, “Stool.” He replied, “You can see my crap on an x-ray?”
That cracked me up because I worked in retail pharmacy at the time, and people would always ask why they had to take laxatives when they were having a kidney x-ray, and I would tell them that bowel contents show up on an x-ray but was always tempted to phrase it a little more colorfully.
Had a patient admitted a few months back who swallowed two bobby pins, a barette, a heart locket, and a large broach. The x-ray was so cool because the broach actually got caught at the bottom of her esophagus, top of the stomach and PINNED itself there, as if to accessorize her insides..lol She was also a cutter with scars EVERYWHERE. She swallows things on a regular basis per her history. I just can’t imagine thinking, “cookie dough ice-cream or heart necklace? hmmm… what am i in the mood for??” lol
so how did you get an x-ray of the “fictitious” patient? Lots of photoshop?
Go on google images Rose.
got one even better…. I was triage nurse one day… and I walked out to the waiting room… took a glance around to see if there was anyone in immediate distress… NOPE… so I went to the sign in sheet to call the next pt….well this is an easy last name… because it was… mine, and no one has ever said it right.
The pt was male, and was accompanied by his wife, so now I know he is probably kin folk as we say in KY…. I start the triage process, and ask what he c/o was… he hesitated.. then said, “I have rectal pain”, so I continued on thinking hemorroids, or constipation… then he stated, “I have something stuck in my rectum”… hoping like hell it was stool, but in the back of my mind I knew better… as my family is full of freaks… I had to ask, “do you know what is stuck in your rectum”…. after a long period of silence he stated, “a dildo”… of this is going to look great on the board…. thank goodness we no longer have to put c/o up there…..
Really bad thing is I went back an placed his last name on the board, and one of the toughest female docs I have ever worked with… stopped and looked at me, and then ask me what is wrong… I looked at her and stated, “well my damn family goes past 6 other ER’s to come to the one I am working in.” perplexed I told her it was one of my cousins… she ask me what his c/o was… I then hesitated… not wanting tosay as others were surrounding us…THINKING it was me that needed help, so I slowly explained the rectal pain my cousin was having, and then added in the… he has something stuck up there… when she learned what was really going on… well she decided to be funny…. so I was called out of triage… and replaced, and guess who ask me to prefrom a rectal exam with her…. yea that damn mean ass female doc…. as she was laughing all the way… I did try to give the …IT IS FAMILY I CAN’T…. only to be shot down, because he didn’t know who Iwas… nor was there another person available …MYSTERIOUSLY…
Yea that was a good day in the ER… THANKS cous
by the way..his wife did try to go in after the “object”, but pushed it further up there… so she says… hell he probably ask for it… he did wait 3 days before seeking medical attention, but bad thing about it was…
YEP he had to go and have it surgically removed… bad day for him
I once helped a doc remove an electric toothbrush from someone’s rectum…and damned if he didn’t want the toothbrush back!!! “well, it IS my toothbrush” I shared this story with my husband and was told “honestly honey, somethings you gotta learn to keep at work…I won’t be able to use my toothbrush now”. Oh well, I thought it was funny!
[...] “I was attacked and raped by a roving gang of Pharmacy [...]
What about-the Large container of Noxzema that accidently went up “there” while walking around the pool and falling down onto it? Or the live rodent traveling? Or the STILL vibrating vibrator still moving up the tract? Good batteries!