So this is not a post about a particular case but rather the first in a series of a list of slangly and often offensive medical acronyms. The author admits he does in fact occasionally use some of these – others are very insensitive and he avoids their use. However they are listed since doctors, nurses, and other health care providers as a group generally use them. Feel free to submit some of your own!
1. GOMER – Get Out Of My Emergency Room – Easily the most famous of all medical acronyms – ubiquitously in use. Popularised in Samuel Shem’s famous book, “The House of God”. Refers to an elderly, demented patient usually from a nursing home. These are not functional individuals. They tend to be bedridden and usually only moan or make other insensible noises. Aggressive treatment of them is usually viewed as fruitless by the medical community.
2. JOG - Juvenile Onset Gomer – A somewhat callous term for a child or young person who has become a GOMER because of some horrible disease, accident, or congenital defect.
3. MFC - Measure For Coffin – Pretty much self explanatory term for someone whose chances of survival are nil.
4. SHPOS – Sub Human Piece Of Sh** – A term for a patient and sometimes for other doctors who are completely rude, useless, violent, abusive, or otherwise a drain on society and a waste of carbon – based matter. See SEEKER below.
5. SEEKER – not an acronym but a shortening of “drug seeker”. Basically a drug addict who fakes or exaggerates symptoms to obtain narcotics. Toothaches, Headaches, and Back Pain are the top three most suspicious complaints as they tend to be favoured by seekers. Often the person claims he or she is “allergic” to every other non-narcotic pain reliever made (such as Motrin, Reglan, Toradol, Aspirin, Immitrex, Cafergot, Flexeril, etc) and sometimes even states that he or she is allergic to specific dosages (like “I can only take the 10/325 Percocets, not the 5/325″). Generally the bane of existence of ER docs.
6. PTBHT or PTBST – Pass The Butter, He’s Toast (or pass the butter, she’s toast). A person with very poor prognosis. See MFC above.
7. STATUS HISPANICUS – an offensive but often used term (sometime by other Hispanics) describing a hysterical Hispanic patient (traditionally Puerto-Rican or Dominican – almost never Mexican however). Often screaming “Eye yieye yieye yieye” (see Eye- tach below). A spoof of the medical terms “Status Asthmaticus and Status Epilepticus” describing severe, nonstop asthma attacks or seizures. See below OMD below as well. One of the terms I avoid using.
8. OMD – Oh Mi Duele. Means “Oh I have pain!” in Spanish. A take off on EMD which means “electro-mechanical dissociation” – an serious cardiac rhythm disturbance. Used like “She is going into OMD, give her some Morphine”.
9. Eye – tach- A spoof of V-tach which is short for Ventricular Tachycardia, a life-threatening cardiac arrhythmia. Someone goes into Eye-tach from OMD – Eyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeyeye.
9. Oy- tach- the same as above but describing a Yiddish patient.
10. Double- O Doc – One of my favourites. Take off on 007 meaning a doc with a license to kill. Basically means a very bad and/or stupid doctor.
More to follow! No offense (usually) intended. And OF COURSE these are not official terms ,just slang like the military does. And the Stedman’s Dictionary pictured above does not have or endorse them! Duh!
Hilarious… I love emergency room folks…no one would understand these but us!
Yes, we do have a perverted sense of humour!
Frequent Flyer – a close cousin to the Seeker. Frequent Flyers come into the ER at least once or twice a month at least to check on their non-existent condition.
Second Generation Frequent Flyer – the children of the Frequent Flyer.
You a Brit or something, T.K.?
Favourites//Humour//
Yes – Frequent Flyer we use all the time. However, we often refer to gomers who come in all the time septic as Frequent Flyers. I have never heard of the second generation version. Good one!
Love it! Keep ‘em coming.
I’ve always heard ‘Status Hispanicus’ referred to as ‘Hispanic Panic’.
Me likee OMD. Alot.
Nah, not a Brit – but I got into the habit of British/Canadian spellings when I was in Junior High for some reason. Maybe it was my obession with Monty Python and Black Adder. I rarely spell esophagus as “Oesophagus” because people don’t know what the hell I am talking about. Although Americans spell Oenophile that way, not “Enophile”. Go Figure.
oh lordy, save me from the chuckles I have received from visiting your site! Oops, snapping out of that Catholic reverie.
I’ve had the hispanic patient, crying ‘oh mi duele’ over and over with her contractions. I had to stifle a giggle when she would say it over and over, especially since she would throw in an occasional “por favor senor, no me duele”. (literally meaning, please sir don’t hurt me)
No, I was not giggling at her pain – not in the least – but I was starting to wonder what man caused her this pain.
Yes Atyourcervix – you gotta wonder what that guy did to her (although, maybe she meant “please sir, make the pain go away….)!
My wife is due via c-section next week so I hope she doesn’t say anything like that (in English however) about me!
‘Senor’ can mean ‘Lord’ in Spanish, so it was more like ‘Oh Lord, please don’t hurt me’, or an ordinary Christian prayer appealing to God.
Ah I see, but don’t you usually say “Patron” or “Dios” for God or Lord?
“por favor senor, no me duele”
means “Please sir, it does not hurt”
sounds more like a guy trying to avoid surgery (cuz they’re gonna charge him; see George Lopez comedy for reference)
oh yeah I’m mexican, trust me on that Spanish
[...] existence and then got passed around as staff moved from ED to ED throughout the country. TK has a bunch of them on his blog – worth a good [...]
Very funny. I’ve used a couple of these myself. Can’t wait to see the list as it advances!
Alex–I just had to type out a response explaining why you mis-translated in order to get your joke.
I really showed you, huh?
I wonder if anyone else got it?
TBD = total body dolor; certainly related to OMD and Status Hispanicus
Hello,
Speaking of “Gomer,” and Samuel Shem, “Spirit of the Place” is definitely a great read.
It’s considered Mr. Shem’s most ambitious work.
Anyone interested should visit http://www.samuelshem.com for more information
Haha I love your acronyms..
I have a few for you.
CTD~~ circling the drain…or a bad outlook.
AFT~~ Ana F—ing Tomical.. (Usually screamed by one of our more ortho geared Docs who says it after setting a bone…
PITA~~ Pain in the Ass.
I like AFT! I always joke around that my wife is a PITA….
Some of our docs like to use the Chili’s To Go slogan when refering to some “frequent flyers” we have.
“Get in, get out, and get on with life.”
Another phrase we use refers to pelvic exams.
” It’s time to go downtown.”
it suked
hi this is Tianna how are u haha this is funny OMG!!!!!