“I don’t take Meds”

OK, so I know you don’t like to take medications – most normal people don’t. But normal people also realise that when they are sick, they may need some!  In fact, normal people who come to the ER in severe pain EXPECT to be given some meds.  The fact that you are refusing all meds for [...]

How not to Treat DKA

I’m not a pediatric endocrinologist but it seems to me that when someone calls that their kid with Type I Diabetes is puking his head off with  blood sugars of 400+ probably needs more treatment than just “give him some pedialyte  and see how he does”.   But hey, I’m just an ER doc, what do I know?!?!?

Of [...]

We should Rename it “Poopeye’s” Fried Chicken

 

 

Me:  “Ma’am, we need you to give a stool sample”

Pt: “What!  That’s disgusting!  I ain’t gonna sh** in a cup!”

Me: “Well, you can go in this bed pan and then scoop some out with the  included spoon in the collection set”

Pt’s Husband (holding a bucket of Popeye’s chicken and laughing at her): [...]

Arson!

People often do anything to get out of work.  Faking illness, faking injuries, sabotaging something, calling in bomb threats, you name it.

The other day we had a fire alarm go off at night.  99% of the time it is a false alarm or a test of the system.  This time as I was talking to a [...]

Dr Prick

If you read my blog a while back, you might remember that I had a “difficult” conversation with a Dr who is a complete jerk. In fact, I called him a prick on the phone. That’s the first time I really told another doctor off. He deserved it. He is pathological. He’s [...]

Don’t Be a Party-Pooper

 

 

RN (to the man in the post from yesterday):  “Awww, come on! Look at the mess you made!”

Patient (in 10/10 affected lisping feminine voice): “YOU sound like a party-pooper!  Here, have some more!!!”

Pt procedes to roll onto his side, spread is buttocks apart, and expel faeces all over the bed and floor

RN: “OK, there [...]

The Orgy Guest List

When one is planning an orgy, the most important part is the guest list.  Obviously you want hot people.  People with clean bills of health. And people with good bodily hygiene.   Most sane people would agree on this.

For some reason, if I were to organise a sex party, I might specifically try to exclude a known [...]

Alcohol or Drug Addiction?

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