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Me: “Ma’am, we need you to give a stool sample” Pt: “What! That’s disgusting! I ain’t gonna sh** in a cup!” Me: “Well, you can go in this bed pan and then scoop some out with the included spoon in the collection set” Pt’s Husband (holding a bucket of Popeye’s chicken and laughing at her): [...] If you read my blog a while back, you might remember that I had a “difficult” conversation with a Dr who is a complete jerk. In fact, I called him a prick on the phone. That’s the first time I really told another doctor off. He deserved it. He is pathological. He’s [...]
RN (to the man in the post from yesterday): “Awww, come on! Look at the mess you made!” Patient (in 10/10 affected lisping feminine voice): “YOU sound like a party-pooper! Here, have some more!!!” Pt procedes to roll onto his side, spread is buttocks apart, and expel faeces all over the bed and floor RN: “OK, there [...] When one is planning an orgy, the most important part is the guest list. Obviously you want hot people. People with clean bills of health. And people with good bodily hygiene. Most sane people would agree on this. For some reason, if I were to organise a sex party, I might specifically try to exclude a known [...] This makes me shudder to think what has happened in this [...] After the disgusting evacuation of over 1 litre of pus from a patient’s abdomen last week, I figured I was over that sort of thing for a while. Wrong. The other day I had yet another abdominal wall abscess! This one was fortunately nowhere near as big but again, I was shocked and disgusted. I opened it [...] |
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