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Hard to Believe You

March 2nd, 2010 at 12:41 am » Comments (8)

Lets see, you’re a 43 year old woman and in my ER with recurrent facial abscesses. You have celulitis all over your cheek which is very puffy. Your teeth are rotted. You have snorted massive amounts of cocaine for more than 20 years and now your entire nasal septum is gone and the resulting cavernous […]



Shut ‘em Down ASAP

February 23rd, 2010 at 7:29 am » Comments (15)

Patient (woman who has been in my ER dozens of times always for chronic tooth pain and nonexistent mandibular dislocations - ie acts like it is out and refuses to move jaw even though it appears clinically in place and x-rays always show normal anatomical location): “Finally! I have been waiting an hour!” […]



Morphine Helps Eliminate Stress

January 17th, 2010 at 10:06 am » Comments (14)

In a recent study which at its heart has noble intentions, researchers found that Morphine helps relieve the post-traumatic stress of returning gulf war veterans. The study was published in the New England Journal of Medicine. Personally, although I imagine relieving such stress is good, potentially creating a group of people who come […]



A Little Press Ganey Secret

December 21st, 2009 at 7:14 am » Comments (10)

So, my hospital, as well an many others I suppose, have certain criteria as to whom they send their Press Ganey patient satisfaction scores to. The policy is (and should be) that they do not send them to patients who present with psychiatric symptoms and/or alcohol or substance abuse related complaints. It does not have […]



This is FRIGGIN’ hilarious

November 18th, 2009 at 1:06 am » Comments (12)

Some ER residents made his “patient faking a seizure” video that is hilarious. I love the “That is not a seizure, that is a dance move” and ” I am allergic to employment”.



The Seeker

November 12th, 2009 at 6:19 am » Comments (11)

Here is a repost of an old post - coming on the heels of the post I did on WhiteCoat’s blog that caused quite a “sensation”…..
A “Seeker” is a term used in ER language for a person coming in to the ED with one mission - to obtain narcotics. Usually they exaggerate a chronic medical […]



Same Answer, Different Insult

November 5th, 2009 at 7:27 am » Comments (14)

I had a pleasant conversation with a lovely patient the other night shift I worked. She is a frequenter of every ER in my county - well known to be addicted to herculean doses of Dilaudid and Fentanyl for a myriad of chronic pain conditions. It went something like this:
Patient: “I need pain […]