Occasionally I meet a flirtatious patient. I mean, come on, I am so Uber-Hott that it comes with the turf of being me! (Cue the cymbal crash). Anyway, sometimes a chief complaint or at least the description of symptoms don’t lend themselves well to making one’s self sexually alluring. GI complaints […]

Sir, I find it somewhat bizarre that given the circumstances of your ER visit, you are reluctant to let us examine you. Well, let me correct myself. I can understand your embarrassment, however given the fact that you regularly engage in receptive anal intercourse, I wonder why you are shy about […]

The patient sat in triage, appearing uncomfortable but one thing was glaringly obvious. Not his appearance but the sound emanating from him. Quite strangely, there was a vibrating/buzzing coming from him that was amplified by the plastic chair he was sitting on in triage.
Hmmmmmm.
OK, sir, the Nurse said, “When did you stick the […]

The triage note of a young woman stated: “I can’t go to the bathroom because I had anal sex last night and all I am passing now are big, bloody chunks”.
OK, guys I said, we gotta draw straws or do some rock paper scissors for this one……
Although in retrospect, the most embarrassing moment was probably […]

Q: How are pain in the vagina and anus for two months after eating related?
A: They are not unless you are defining eating as shoving food up your vagina or anus.

Here is a post from a while ago that I had to pull down because it got so much spam. Pretty nasty….
I have many posts under the heading “Bad Idea” - because often it is a bad idea that results in an ER visit (”But Doc, it didn’t really seem like that bad […]

Ma’am, I am sorry to say that your finger is broken. However, it will heal fine and just needs a splint for a few weeks. However, although I appreciate your candor, I did not really require that extra bit of info you provided on how you broke it. You could have made something […]