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Me: “Ma’am, we need you to give a stool sample” Pt: “What! That’s disgusting! I ain’t gonna sh** in a cup!” Me: “Well, you can go in this bed pan and then scoop some out with the included spoon in the collection set” Pt’s Husband (holding a bucket of Popeye’s chicken and laughing at her): [...]
So, this guy had a megawork up on the floor after his ER visit. First things first, his CT was negative for PE but showed retrocardiac b/l lower lobe interstitial infiltrates (which has a broad differential). I started IV antibiotics and basically blasted him with fluids. His BP was better [...] Me: “OK, you have a UTI, and need to take an antibiotic” Pt: “Oh, OK. So, I have a urine infection?” Me: “Yes” Pt: “And I have to take an Antibiotic?” Me: “Yes” Pt: “Why do I have to take an Antibiotic?” Me: “Because you have a UTI” Pt: “Oh, OK, why didn’t you say [...] After the disgusting evacuation of over 1 litre of pus from a patient’s abdomen last week, I figured I was over that sort of thing for a while. Wrong. The other day I had yet another abdominal wall abscess! This one was fortunately nowhere near as big but again, I was shocked and disgusted. I opened it [...]
OK, here is a record I NEVER hope to beat. A man was brought in from the assisted living centre with fever. He had low blood pressure and was very tachycardic. Of immediate note was his abdomen – which incidentally, he was not complaining about. In fact, he was sitting there [...] |
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