Me: “Ma’am, we need you to give a stool sample”
Pt: “What! That’s disgusting! I ain’t gonna sh** in a cup!”
Me: “Well, you can go in this bed pan and then scoop some out with the included spoon in the collection set”
Pt’s Husband (holding a bucket of Popeye’s chicken and laughing at her): [...]
So, this guy had a megawork up on the floor after his ER visit. First things first, his CT was negative for PE but showed retrocardiac b/l lower lobe interstitial infiltrates (which has a broad differential).
I started IV antibiotics and basically blasted him with fluids. His BP was better [...]
Me: “OK, you have a UTI, and need to take an antibiotic”
Pt: “Oh, OK. So, I have a urine infection?”
Me: “Yes”
Pt: “And I have to take an Antibiotic?”
Me: “Yes”
Pt: “Why do I have to take an Antibiotic?”
Me: “Because you have a UTI”
Pt: “Oh, OK, why didn’t you say [...]
After the disgusting evacuation of over 1 litre of pus from a patient’s abdomen last week, I figured I was over that sort of thing for a while. Wrong.
The other day I had yet another abdominal wall abscess! This one was fortunately nowhere near as big but again, I was shocked and disgusted.
I opened it [...]
I was not able to do a real post owing to me spending the lion’s share of my last shift with GI distress. Perhaps I got sick from that abscess.
Hopefully tomorrow will be better and I will again regale you with witty [...]
OK, here is a record I NEVER hope to beat.
A man was brought in from the assisted living centre with fever. He had low blood pressure and was very tachycardic. Of immediate note was his abdomen – which incidentally, he was not complaining about. In fact, he was sitting there [...]
Yes, you have lost your license to be parents. You are just too darn stupid to be allowed to care for a child. Sorry, too annoying, too demanding, too stupid.
Your 4 year old was diagnosed with influenza (with a positive rapid flu test)two days ago after having a fever and body aches for three [...]
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