Me: “So, you were lightheaded and dizzy and then you worried that your blood pressure might be high so you took two extra doses of your blood pressure medication?”

Mr Hypoperfusion: “Yeah”

Me: “Let me guess. And then you passed out?”

Mr Hypoperfusion: “Yeah, I didn’t see that coming”

I have a new nominee for the world’s stupidest chief complaint:

;

26 year old man who states his “penis is getting smaller”.

;

He had gained about 50 lbs in weight and I had to tell you that the penis loses apparent length when you get fat. It seemed to really motivate him to get back in shape.

;

Me: *Walks into room*

Obese Patient: “Doc, before you say anything, I realize that I’m a total fat-ass. “