Now, I am extremely pro-choice (I hesitate to bring up the topic of abortion due to the insanely intense feelings people have about it however…) but there are times when I can’t help but be disgusted with people and their choices. I believe elective abortion should be for both defects or abnormalities, or the rare “oops” event when a condom breaks or when you are young and stupid and drunk. I do not believe it should be akin to a chiropractic spinal manipulation – something you when you feel like it. Anyway, that said, the other day I had a woman in her late 30′s who came in with typical first trimester bleeding. No biggie 99% of the time.

I always ask the patient how many times they’ve been pregnant, number of deliveries, miscarriages, abortions, etc. This time the woman said “Well, I have 4 kids. I’ve been pregnant, oh God, let me see, hmmm, about 12-15 times. Some of the those were miscarriages, some were abortions. I can’t remember! I can tell you the last abortion I had was last year. You can call the doctor and he can tell you the exact numbers”.

I had to hold my tongue to not recommend a more “radical” procedure.

Me: “How do you think you got this penile discharge?”

Mr Trobicin: “I have no idea! I’ve only had sex with three hookers in the last few months! And they all told me they were completely clean!”

You know, you and your parents might want to give a little thought to your future. You’re 15 and pregnant. You have no idea when your last menstrual period  was so you are in the dark how far along you are. You and your clueless/refusing to see the light parents have not seen an OB for the pregnancy and have no thoughts as to where you are going to go for EVENTUAL prenatal care.  Are you just going to wait until you deliver and get some “prenatal” care then?  I mean WTF?

Now you are in my ER at 1 am, I found out you are 22 weeks pregnant by Ultrasound, you have pyelonephritis with a fever. You have hydronephrosis for some reason and now you are pretty sick.  Of course you have no insurance to just complicate things.   You might just want to consider taking things a little more seriously. Having a baby is a big deal for adults.  Start acting like one now that you got knocked up.  And Mom and Dad, your “little baby” ain’t one any more. Start treating her like the adult she thinks she is.