Archive for the ‘Trauma’ Category

Things that Piss me off

Saturday, December 22nd, 2012

A). I walk in the room and you greet me with “Yo, what-da fuck up cuz!?”

B). You’re a drunken dope who cut his face and you keep telling me “Don’t fuck this shit up, I’m a model!” while I’m suturing you.

C). You say “Fuck this shit don’t work!” and you throw the Motrin offered to you on the floor.

D). You say “Oh my God, I’m gonna vomit!!” and then you stick your finger down your throat and then throw up.

Proper Positioning

Thursday, November 22nd, 2012

Listen, of you’re going to suffer a penis injury while having sex, it’s best done while NOT in the “Woman on Top” position. You see, most penile fractures occur in this position because the full weight of the woman comes down on the penis as it bends. *Ouchies*
Generally, if things bend the wrong way, it’s best the man be on top or behind so he can instantly arrest the damaging movement….,

CT Hell

Tuesday, October 2nd, 2012

I remember back in residency- I remember back in the dark ages with the old generation CT scanners. These are the ones that took 1 billion years to do anything more than I head CT. CT’s of the C-spine or the abdomen were absolutely painful. Painful to the staff especially the residents. Also likely very painful to the patients.
It would literally take 15 to 20 minutes to do a single scan. This is irritating enough when the patient was calm and stable but an absolute horror show when they were not. Or when they were drunk and combative. Doing a CT of the entire spine on an intoxicate trauma pt meant at least one solid hour for the assigned resident standing by the pt, fully sheathed in lead, physically restraining him or her and pushing massive amounts of Ativan and Haldol. That also meant no CT’s for the rest of the ER that entire time.
Sometimes I think that because current CT’s are so fast and so much better in quality that we tend to over-order them. But then I remember the absolute pain I suffered sitting back there next to some stinky drunk trauma that wriggled and spat over me.