Loaded Question

Most ER docs have a standard series of general knowledge/awareness questions we ask patients with altered mental status.
Most doctors ask “Who is the president of United States?” as one of the questions. I’ve completely stopped asking that question now. If the person knows the answer invariably they either start spouting out how much they love or despise the president-sometimes to the point of making racist comments.
From now on I’m asking the question “what’s the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?” less likely to get anybody riled up.

Psych or Drug Seeker?

Guy comes in intoxicated. Starts sobering up. Asks for narcs for his chronic back pain. Then after one dose says he’s depressed and suicidal. Waits three hours for psychiatrist. Wants more pain meds. Doesn’t get them. Suddenly not depressed or suicidal anymore.

Brilliant

New contestant for dumbest chief complaint:

40 y/o male who is “getting aroused too often”.

Bad Behavior has blocked 2893 access attempts in the last 7 days.